7 Habits of Highly Self Centered People (And How to Avoid Them)

7 Habits of Highly Self Centered People (And How to Avoid Them)

Have you ever been in a conversation where someone seems oblivious to anyone else’s thoughts or feelings? Perhaps they dominate the conversation with stories about themselves, rarely offering space for others to speak.

Maybe they consistently blame others for their mistakes or show little concern for your problems. These are all telltale signs of someone who might be exhibiting self centered behavior.

Self centeredness, also known as egocentrism, refers to a preoccupation with oneself and one’s own needs and desires. Self centered people often lack empathy and struggle to see things from other perspectives.

This can create significant challenges in interpersonal relationships, leaving others feeling unheard, undervalued, and ultimately drained.

But fear not! This comprehensive guide will equip you with the knowledge to identify the habits of highly self-centered people and provide practical strategies to navigate interactions with them effectively. By understanding these behaviors, you can protect your well-being and foster healthier relationships in your life.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this post:

• 7 Habits of Highly Self-Centered People:We’ll delve into the common behaviors that characterize self-centered individuals, helping you recognize them in your interactions.
• How to Avoid Self-Centered People: We’ll explore strategies for limiting your exposure to self-centered individuals and protecting your emotional well-being.
• Building Healthy Relationships: We’ll offer tips on fostering connections with genuinely considerate and supportive people who enrich your life.

So, buckle up and get ready to navigate the world of self-centeredness with confidence! By the end of this post, you’ll be empowered to identify these behaviors, protect your energy, and build meaningful connections with others.

II. 7 Habits of Highly Self Centered People:

1. Excessive Talking and Dominating Conversations:

Imagine this: You’re at a social gathering, excited to catch up with friends. Suddenly, one person takes center stage, launching into a lengthy monologue about their recent vacation. They interrupt others mid-sentence, skillfully deflecting any attempt to shift the focus.

This relentless self-promotion leaves you feeling unheard, frustrated, and ultimately disengaged.

This is a classic example of a self-centered person dominating conversations. They view every interaction as an opportunity to showcase themselves, often oblivious to the needs of others.

Their excessive talking stems from a deep need for attention and validation.

Impact: This behavior can be incredibly draining. It creates an environment where others feel like mere props in the self-centered person’s narrative. It fosters feelings of exclusion, frustration, and ultimately, a reluctance to engage further.

2. Lack of Empathy and Emotional Intelligence:

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Emotional intelligence refers to the broader skillset of managing one’s own emotions and understanding the emotions of others.

Self centered people often struggle with both these crucial skills.

Explanation: Imagine confiding in a friend about a personal setback. A truly empathetic person would listen attentively, offer words of support, and try to understand your emotional state.

A self centered individual, however, might respond with dismissive remarks or quickly shift the conversation back to themselves. They lack the capacity to truly connect with your feelings or offer genuine support.

Example: You confide in a friend about a recent job rejection, feeling discouraged and unsure. Your friend, however, seems preoccupied. They respond with, “That’s tough, but hey, at least you have more time to focus on your hobbies! By the way, did I tell you about the promotion I just got?”

his response highlights the lack of empathy and emotional intelligence displayed by a self-centered individual.

Impact: This lack of empathy creates a significant barrier to healthy relationships. It makes it difficult to build trust and intimacy when someone consistently fails to acknowledge your emotional experience.

3. Constant Need for Attention and Validation:

Have you ever encountered someone who seems to crave constant admiration and validation? They might pepper conversations with fishing for compliments, subtly (or not so subtly) brag about their achievements, or constantly seek approval for their decisions.

This relentless need for attention is another hallmark of a self-centered individual.

Explanation: This behavior often stems from underlying insecurities. Self-centered people may lack a strong sense of self-worth and require external validation to feel good about themselves. They might also have a deep desire to be the center of attention, believing their experiences and opinions are inherently more interesting than those of others.

Impact: This constant need for attention can be exhausting for those around them. It creates an imbalanced dynamic where the focus is perpetually on the self-centered person, leaving little room for genuine connection and mutual support.

Example: Imagine planning a group dinner. A self centered friend might constantly suggest changing the venue to somewhere they prefer, subtly brag about their culinary expertise, or hijack the conversation with stories about their recent extravagant meal.

4. Difficulty Accepting Responsibility and Blaming Others:

Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a cornerstone of healthy relationships. Self-centered individuals, however, often struggle with this concept. When faced with mistakes or setbacks, they’re more likely to:

• Shift Blame: They readily point fingers at others, deflecting any responsibility for their actions.
• Minimize Mistakes: They downplay the severity of their actions or offer excuses to justify their behavior.
• Refuse to Apologize: They struggle to acknowledge their wrongdoing and offer a sincere apology.

Impact: This constant blame game erodes trust and creates resentment. It prevents healthy growth and resolution, as the self-centered person never truly learns from their mistakes.

Expert Opinion: Dr. Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissism, states that “self-centered individuals often have a fragile sense of self-esteem. Accepting blame can feel like an attack on their worth, leading them to deflect responsibility and maintain a sense of superiority.” 

By understanding these habits, you’ll be better equipped to navigate interactions with self centered individuals and prioritize your own well-being in your relationships.

5. Disregard for Others’ Feelings and Needs:

Imagine this: You’re having a tough week, and you confide in a friend about feeling overwhelmed.

Instead of offering a supportive ear, your friend launches into a rant about their own recent work stress, completely missing your emotional cues. This disregard for your feelings is a classic sign of a self-centered individual.

Explanation: Self centered people are often oblivious to, or simply uninterested in, the emotional landscape of those around them. Their primary focus is on their own needs and desires, leaving little room for empathy or consideration.

They might make inconsiderate requests, disregard personal boundaries, or show a complete lack of concern for the well-being of others.

Impact: This disregard can be incredibly hurtful and isolating. It creates a one-sided dynamic where your feelings and experiences seem unimportant. Over time, it can erode trust and damage relationships.

Example: You and a friend plan a weekend getaway. Throughout the trip, your friend insists on activities they enjoy, ignoring your suggestions.

They might constantly complain about their discomfort, oblivious to the fact you were also hoping for a relaxing experience.

6. Difficulty Offering Help or Support:

Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity. We help each other through tough times and celebrate each other’s successes. Self-centered individuals, however, often struggle with this concept. They might:

• Avoid Offering Help:They rarely take the initiative to offer assistance, even when they see someone struggling.
• Make Excuses:When called upon to help, they readily manufacture excuses to avoid getting involved.
• Offer Minimal Help:If they do offer help, it’s often begrudgingly and with minimal effort.

Impact: This lack of reciprocity creates an imbalanced dynamic. It leaves you feeling unsupported and can ultimately lead to resentment.

Example: You’re moving apartments and need help packing. A self-centered friend might offer a half-hearted promise of assistance, but then mysteriously “forget” on moving day, leaving you scrambling to manage on your own.

7. Preoccupation with Themselves and Their Problems:

We’ve all had those experiences where someone dominates a conversation with tales of their own woes, seemingly oblivious to the world around them. This self-absorption is another hallmark of a self-centered individual.

Explanation: Their primary focus is on their own thoughts, feelings, and problems. They view the world through the lens of their own experiences and struggles, showing little interest in the lives of others.

Conversations often veer back to them, and attempts to shift the focus might be met with disinterest or even dismissal.

Impact: This constant self-absorption can be incredibly draining. It creates a one-sided dynamic where genuine connection and mutual exchange are virtually impossible.

Example: You’re catching up with a friend and excited to share some good news about your recent promotion.

Before you can finish telling your story, your friend interrupts with details about their own career frustrations, effectively hijacking the conversation and making it all about them.

How to Avoid Self Centered People: Protecting Your Energy and Fostering Healthy Relationships.

So, you’ve identified someone exhibiting self-centered behaviors in your life. What can you do? Here are some practical strategies to navigate these interactions and prioritize your well-being:

1. Set Boundaries:

Healthy boundaries are essential for protecting yourself from emotional manipulation and fostering healthy relationships. With self-centered individuals, establishing boundaries is crucial.

This means clearly communicating your needs and expectations and politely yet firmly asserting them when crossed.

Here are some tips for setting boundaries:

• Be clear and specific: Don’t sugarcoat your message. For example, if a friend constantly dominates conversations, you could say, “I value our friendship, but I also need to feel heard. Let’s try taking turns speaking and actively listening to each other.”
• Focus on “I” statements: This helps avoid accusations and keeps the focus on how their behavior impacts you.
• Be prepared to repeat: Setting boundaries may require repetition, especially with individuals resistant to change.

2. Limit Interactions:

You don’t owe anyone unlimited access to your time and energy. If someone consistently drains you with their self-centeredness, it’s okay to limit your interactions. This could involve:

• Reducing the frequency of your interactions: Opt for occasional coffee dates instead of frequent hangouts.
• Setting time limits: Suggest shorter outings or phone calls to manage the duration of your interactions.
• Politely declining invitations: It’s okay to say “no” to invitations if you know spending time with them will leave you feeling depleted.

3. Prioritize Your Well-Being:

You cannot control the behavior of others, but you can control your response. Focus on self-care practices to maintain your mental and emotional well-being:

• Engage in activities you enjoy: Make time for hobbies and interests that bring you joy and a sense of fulfillment.
• Spend time with supportive individuals: Surround yourself with people who value your feelings and reciprocate your efforts in the relationship.
• Practice mindfulness techniques: Techniques like meditation and deep breathing can help you manage stress and maintain emotional balance.

4. Seek Support:

Talking to a therapist or counselor can be incredibly helpful in navigating complex relationships and developing healthy coping mechanisms. They can provide guidance on communication strategies and emotional boundaries, as well as support your overall mental well-being.

Remember: You are not alone. Self-centered individuals are prevalent, and seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

As Dr. Lillian Glass, a renowned expert on narcissism, states, “The key to dealing with self-centered people is to set strong emotional boundaries and detach from their negativity. Focus on nurturing healthy relationships that are built on mutual respect and empathy.”

Conclusion:

Self centered individuals can be challenging to navigate. By understanding their behaviors and implementing these strategies, you can protect yourself and foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Remember the 7 self centered habits:

1. Excessive Talking & Dominating Conversations
2. Lack of Empathy & Emotional Intelligence
3. Constant Need for Attention & Validation
4. Difficulty Accepting Responsibility & Blaming Others
5. Disregard for Others’ Feelings & Needs
6. Difficulty Offering Help or Support
7. Preoccupation with Themselves & Their Problems

By setting boundaries, limiting interactions, prioritizing your well-being, and seeking support if needed, you can empower yourself to navigate these dynamics with greater confidence.

Take the time to reflect on your own interactions. Are there any relationships that leave you feeling unheard or undervalued? By prioritizing your mental health and establishing healthy boundaries, you can create space for genuine connections and thrive in your relationships.

FAQ’s On Habits of Highly Self Centered People: 

1. Q: How can I tell if I am being self-centered?

A: Self-centeredness can manifest in various ways, so it’s important to be aware of the signs. Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I find myself dominating conversations and rarely letting others speak?
• Do I struggle to understand and consider the feelings of others?
• Do I constantly seek attention and validation from others?
• Do I have difficulty taking responsibility for my actions and blame others for my mistakes?
• Do I prioritize my own needs and desires above the needs of others?
• Do I find it difficult to offer help or support to others?
• Do I find myself constantly talking about myself and showing little interest in others’ lives?

If you answered yes to several of these questions, it might be a sign of self-centered tendencies. However, it’s important to be self-compassionate and remember that self-awareness is the first step to improvement.

2. Q: Can self-centeredness be caused by anything?

A: While self-centeredness can be a personality trait, it can also be influenced by various factors, such as:

• Upbringing: Individuals raised in environments lacking emotional support or experiencing excessive praise may develop self-centered tendencies.
• Low self-esteem: Paradoxically, individuals with low self-esteem may become self-centered as a way to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy.
• Narcissistic personality disorder: This is a more severe condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. If you suspect someone exhibits extreme self-centeredness consistently across various aspects of their life, it’s best to consult a mental health professional for proper diagnosis and support.

3. Q: How can I help someone who is self-centered?

A: While you cannot directly control the behavior of others, you can influence them through your own actions and communication.

• Set boundaries:Clearly communicate your needs and expectations, and kindly assert your boundaries when they are crossed.
• Practice open and honest communication:Express your concerns about their behavior in a calm and respectful manner.
• Encourage self-reflection:Gently guide them to consider the impact of their actions on others.
• Focus on your well-being:Prioritize your own needs and mental health. You cannot change others, but you can choose how you respond to their behavior.

Remember, significant change often requires professional support. If your attempts to help are unsuccessful, encourage them to seek therapy or professional help to address their self-centered tendencies.

4. Q: Is it okay to end a friendship with someone who is self-centered?

A: Ultimately, the decision to end a friendship is a personal one. You deserve to be in healthy and supportive relationships. If the self-centered behavior of someone is detrimental to your well-being and you’ve tried to address the issue without success, ending the friendship may be necessary for your own growth and happiness.

5. Q: Where can I find more information about self-centeredness?

A: Here are some resources for further learning:

• The American Psychological Association (APA):https://www.apa.org/
• The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):https://www.nami.org/Home
• The Mayo Clinic:https://www.mayoclinic.org/
• Books: Self Compassion” by Kristin Neff, “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Remember, self centeredness is a complex issue with various causes and manifestations. This blog post provides a basic overview, and seeking professional help is always recommended for deeper understanding and personalized guidance.